Life Lately

I first want to start out by saying that I feel this selfie is appropriate because most of my life the past few weeks has been spent in a car! Whether it be driving myself, riding in the passenger or backseat, or a 20+ hour road trip! Even most of my vlogs have been made in my car! Okay, moving on..

So of course coffee has been involved in my life! I think a little more than needed sometimes, but no one can take me away from my coffee! I think that at this point I would die without it! (major exaggeration but you get the point.)

Not only have I been getting coffee alone, but I have had SO many coffee dates and I absolutely love it! There's nothing better than being able to sit and talk with someone over a nice hot cup of coffee. I don't know what it is, but it just makes me feel so happy!

Other than coffee, there's something else that's been constant in my life lately.. and that's spending time and talking to my amazingly beautiful friend you see above! Her name is Alex and I absolutely adore her! She has seriously brought some fun adventures into my life the past few weeks and even introduced me to some amazing people! This girl is the definition of a true friend and I can't get over how lucky and blessed I am to have her in my life! I mean just look at how much fun we've been having!! v v v v


Along with this wonderful guy JJ, Alex has introduced me to some great people that I am now happy to call my friends! Especially this guy because he is seriously so hilarious, and any person that can make me laugh is awesome in my book! I definitely look forward to more adventures with him!

Obviously texting is always a part of my life.. Sometimes I hate myself for not wanting to put my phone down. But I promise I'm working on being not so attached to it! It's hard but I am trying and that's all that matters, right?

Well, as you can see, life has been great for me recently and it just continues to get better and better! I'm so excited to see what this summer has in store for me and I can't wait to share it with all of you!

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Dating Rules: Selling Yourself vs. Being Yourself

When it comes to dating it seems there are strict rules that most suggest you follow until the fish is on the hook. 

There have been discussions about who should pick the restaurant and pay the check, how far in advance the date should be scheduled and even how long to wait to call after for a "follow-up". These rules seem to offer a recipe for commitment and true romantic partnership but all it really is doing is delivering lopsided loving. Men and women seem to think that if they "play the game" correctly that a significant other will be the prize. We're advised to be open, but also mysterious. Women should wear make-up, but not try too hard. 

Dating requires a bit of salesmanship.. a nice profile picture, wearing smart clothes, and emphasizing the good parts of your life over the not so good. Many say that this is being fake, but why do we assume that our best selves are fake?

Are we being fake? No, we're not. We are turning our attention not to what others think of us but instead to how we can give the other person the best experience possible. We try to sell ourselves in a way that will make the other person interested. However, the pitch we give can sometimes be determined by our confidence or even how hot the date is. And not only are we the "seller" but also the "buyer", the person with the power to decide whether or not this person is even worth the time and effort. 

This whole process of selling and buying can make dating stressful. Dating is not about "playing by the rules" but about having a good time and making the date as enjoyable as possible for the both of you. That way, no matter what happens, you both win.

And as far as dating rules go, here are three dating rules you should rule OUT.

1. "Don't give the milk away for free, wait at least three dates" - it's said that a person should wait a preordained amount of time (three dates for instance) before beginning a sexual relationship but emotional intimacy is not necessarily achieved in just three dates. Instead of sticking to a rigid rule you should reflect and just see where things go instead of operating under a three-date outline.

2. "play hard to get" - you all know what this means. don't be the first to call or say i love you or even express any sign of emotional neediness. Oh! and you can't forget to wait at least three days to initiate contact after a date or even meeting. If you want to call or text after a nice date or meeting with someone new, then do it! I mean honestly, what's the worst that can happen? Okay, yes, boundaries are important but if you suppress every urge to reveal your feelings you will never learn their capacity for emotional intimacy. The worst thing that might happen is that you get rejected, but try not to take it too personally. 

3. "Be easy, light, and giggly" - This goes more so for women than men, obviously. Women are conditioned to be a little ditzy because it's been known to attract male flirtation. A lot of women feel that in order for a guy to want to spend time with her she has to act in an easy, breezy (beautiful cover girl! sorry i had to! ha!) manner. However, if this isn't your true mood or no where near your own unique personality, STOP. Why? Because he will not be getting to know the true you. If you're dumbing down your personality for someone and they're attracted to it, then they aren't attracted to the real you, because they don't know the real you!

Dating shouldn't have to be as complicated as we have made it, but the reality is, that it is, and will most likely continue to get more complicated. 

Comment and let me know your opinions on it because I would LOVE to know what's going on in others minds about the 'dating rules' and etc.

Until next time!
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Where do we go from here?

"Let’s talk about how my almost twenty year old life isn’t going as planned and yours probably isn’t either and where the heck do we go from here?"

This is something I have been thinking about lately. Where do we go from here? 

A friend of mine brought up that most people don't have their life together until they're close to their 30's, which to me, seems about right. 

So to that question (where do we go from here?) I answer. BE HAPPY
(See! don't I look happy here! I was actually happy I promise!)

Be happy and just live your life. Whether you are where you planned to be at this age (whatever age that might be) or not you're alive and you're where you're supposed to be. 

And believe it or not, where you are supposed to be isn't always where you planned to be. 

As long as you're happy with your life and where you are at then honestly, I think that is all that matters.

Until next time..
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